The past two weeks have been rough. Dragged through the mud, breath snatching rough. By now you’re probably well aware that one of my grandmothers died and it’s been taking a toll on not just me but my family in general. It’s one thing to lose one grandparent in a family but the weight of having two grandparents gone has been heavy.
While reading Amanda Murray‘s, @londongirlinnyc, article on We Dream In HD, she mentioned that her style centers around her having a conversation with herself. It was ironic to read that and realize the things I’ve been choosing to wear lately speak volumes about how I’ve been feeling. It’s no mystery that I love outerwear but I’ve found myself deliberately choosing oversized pieces. I did manage to wear two dresses to work but for the most part I’ve been gravitating towards cropped trousers and chunky knitwear. Although I always wanted my own version of the teddy coat, buying this piece from MANGO (now sold out), became an act of “it has to come home to live with me.”
The thing about it is it’s softer than I imagined but it’s still a little bulky for my frame. It reminds of the heaviness I’ve been feeling at different points. I’m currently working on letting myself feel any emotion that comes up instead of pretending to be positive all of the time. Everything is coming in waves so in a way this look pretty much sums up the space I’m in. Dealing with the heaviness of grief but also knowing my grandma is in a better place and her legacy didn’t end when she died. My family and I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for her so she lives on in parts of us.
I’m here, somewhere in the thick of grief and inspiration, and I’m choosing to be okay with this space. For all I know it could be prepping me for my next transition.
3. Jeans x Zara
4. Tennis Shoes x ASOS